God.. It has been a long time since i updated my blog.. A few months.. I have almost forgotten that i actually had a blog.. Things have been crazy this period of time.. Long curriculum is draining all our energy away.. So thankful for the long weekend that i can actually sit down and write, something that i wanted to do for a very long time! Exciting events coming up, teachers day celebration, prelim 2 and the war will start..

I went to church today, i can only say i was tremendously blessed!! Rev.Mark.Conner from Melbourne Australia minister the word today.. He was amazing! He taught about relationship and emphasizes that life is all about relationship and a community.. Relating with other people is a skill that requires a lot of time and effort but it is for a good cause.. He went on to talk about 7 rules or art that you need to have to build a strong relationship with people around you.. I wanted to share the 7 values today..

1.The art of acceptance.
He said that often we rate and judge people by the set of value system we ourselves believe in. If we saw the person that we are fond of, we will go and be friendly with them, but if we saw people that are rated a 3 by us and they are people that we don't really like, we would usually walk on the opposite direction.. What is the problem here?? We only try to communicate with people we choose to communicate.. The world become a place full of loneliness and hurt. How amazing it will be if we rate everybody a 10? We try to relate to anybody and try to understand and accept them.. Won't the world be a better place? Remember that GOD treats everyone as his precious no matter who or what we are.. We live life to be more and more like him, so shouldn't we treat others like how GOD treats people?

2.The art of listening.
He said whenever we talk to people that need someone to listen to them, we are always too busy in asking questions but forgot that the person we are talking to need a listening ear not a questioning mouth.. Be slow to speak and be quick to listen!! We have two ears and one mouth!! Our speed of listening should be twice as our speed of speaking, it shouldn't be another way round! People pay to find counselor to listen to them!! These counselor always ask the same questions like 'What happened?', 'and then?'.. People pay to get undivided attention!! It cost people to find someone to listen to somebody..! Isn't this sad?? If we are slow to speak and always listen attentively to other people problems first before asking questions.. The community we are in will be a better place.. We need to find a need and meet the need, find a hurt and heal the hurt!

3.The art of empathy.
We must always be empathetic towards others.. Always understand people situation before we conclude what kind of person they are.. He shared a story that a guy was sitting in a peaceful and quiet train.. Then a businessman board the train with a few of his kids. His kids started running and shouting inside the train.. The atmosphere of the train changed from peaceful to chaotic.. The businessman was not doing anything to stop his kids.. The guy got irritated and started showing his unhappiness by raising his voice and said 'Do something about your kids!!' The businessman got up and apologies to the guy and said with sorrow 'i am sorry, their mother just passed away in the hospital a few moments ago.' All of a sudden, the guy attitude changed totally and begin to show concern for his family.. You see we always try to think that we know everything but always realize that we know nothing in the end..

4.The act of authenticity.
He said that we have to be truthful to one another.. People always try to put on a mask when they meet people and hide their feelings and emotions so that they look good in front of the person.. But we need to be truthful!! Relationship should be build on truth.. He went on to tell a story that there were two guys meeting one another.. Guy A ask Guy B how was he doing lately.. Guy B begin to say that he was doing well and everything has been going on very smoothly in his life.. Guy B asked back Guy A how was he doing.. Guy A answered and said 'Not really well, I am going through some tough times in my life and my family and marriage are falling apart.' After hearing that, Guy B begin to confess 'Actually, i am not doing very well either.' They went on to have a long conversation on what they both are going through.. You see, if you are truthful to other people in what is happening in your life, people will be truthful back to you.. It always start from one party! We gotta be real and learn to be comfortable in telling people what we are going through!..

5.The art of forgiveness.
Forgiveness again..! Learning to forgive is critical..!! Not only we need to forgive people we also need to know how to ask others for forgiveness.. He shared about his life that once he confronted a staff that made a mistake in his job in front of his colleagues.. He was a bit harsh with his words so the staff walked away angrily.. He did the right thing but he did it in a wrong way.. So he went home and reflected on what he had done and realized that he was at fault.. He called out the person and said 'sorry, i was a bit harsh with you just now, i should have talked to you privately, would you forgive me?' There was a moment of silence and the staff replied 'ya, sure, i am sorry as well.' Their relationship was reconciled immediately.. WA!! How amazing!! We often find it hard to apologize for our mistakes and focus more on other people mistakes.. And we always forget to look into our faults and reflect on them.. When we had disputes with others we are always on a right mode than reconciliation mode!Understand that relationship is more important than being right..!! If we apologize and forgive people, people will apologize and forgive us in return..!

6.The art of loving confrontation.
We need to speak and tell the truth in love.. We always could not handle when other people pointed out our flaws and get agitated and furious when people tell us what we need to improve on.. But we do not understand that people tell us our flaws to make us change and be a better person.. We must always be open towards comments like this.. He said when he did not zip his pants, he does not hope the person who noticed to keep quiet and laugh at him.. He hope that he will go and tell him so that he can correct his mistake. The faster you tell people his mistakes the faster he change and be better!! We don't hide people weaknesses because we want them to improve on their personality, but we tell them in a right and loving way! We don''t purposely try to hurt them but try to tell them in a way that they understand that we are trying to help them! Learn to accept negative comments and telling others their weaknesses is crucial in relating with people!

7.The art of encouragement.
The best gift of all is to be encouraging.. Encouragement is the breathe to a person soul!! A person can go on with 2 weeks of disappointment and sadness with one encouraging word from an individual.. We always compare people base on who they are and who they used to be.. But wouldn't it be more amazing if we could see people base on who they are and what they can be in the future.. Believe that who they are now will not be who they will be eventually and focus more on their true potential rather than their past.. Trust that their future will be better than the present.. God don't see our past but God see our future! Learn to encourage and give faith to one another rather than demoralizing what they can do by digging out their past.. Don't believe what other people believe in what you can do but believe in what you believe in what you are capable of doing!

If these 7 values are put into application.. I really believe that our circle of friends will be bigger and bigger.. And our circle of influence will be wider and wider! Relationship in one's life is important and we need to learn to relate to people in the right way! He said nothing is new, we knows everything! But it is just a matter of whether we choose to act on it. A survey was done between people IQ, technical skills and EQ.. The conclusion was our EQ is twice as important than our IQ and technical skills! Because we can be very intelligent and good in our skills but it would be useless if we score big fat 0 in our EQ!! Rev.Mark.Conner ended by saying 'Christians are too educated beyond their level of obedience.' His words were powerful and influential during that service! His preaching make me reflect very much on my personality.. I hope it does to you as well!

This are all the things i have to say.. I will blog more often!! Enjoy another half of your long weekend!! :)

Kok tiong | 8/08/2010 11:38:00 PM